Operator: Thank you for calling this pizza joint. May I have your...

Customer: Hello, can I order..

Operator: Can I have your multi-purpose card number first, sir?

Customer: It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610.

Operator: OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from Bur Dubai. Your house number is xxx, your office number is yyy and your mobile is zzz. Which number are you calling from now, sir?

Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: We are connected to a system, sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza?

Operator: That's not a good idea, sir.

Customer: How come?

Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?

Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.

Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator: You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK, I give up... Give me three family size ones then. How much will that cost?"

Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, sir. The total is Dh150, sir.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?

Operator: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Dh3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator: You can't, sir. Based on the records,you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.

Customer: Never mind. Just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator: About 45 minutes sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.

Customer: What!

Operator: According to the details in system, you own a scooter,...registration number .... Customer: Okay, okay!

Operator: Is there anything else, sir? Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that three free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator: We normally would sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 10th July 1997, you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?