The older you get the more junk mail you get. (Axiom: 001: The Taylor Jones Axioms)

The more money you give to charities the more Give to Me junk mail you will get. (Axiom: 002)

Last year I decided to give more money to charity.

That was a big mistake.

The more institutions I gave to, the more request I got from them and other institutions.

I've got more free address labels then I can use in 100 years. (For those who need labels, drop me a line and I'll send you some of mine.)

Some give things I can pass off to my wife, like stationary, etc. At times I get a cross to pin on my undershirt so I can sleep tight.

Some give me a penny or a nickel that I can put in the cup by my bed or the bottle over the fireplace. The last time my wife emptied them and put them into those little coin wrappers, she had $87.00.

I also get quite a few worthless checks from charities, worthless to me anyway.

Some say that my contribution will be matched by Bill Gates or some such, usually a corporation. They make me feel like a jerk if I don't give. (I never pay any attention to such offers. I give or don't give according to what I think is the benefit of the charity.)

I got so much mail from charities that I'd never heard of that I quit giving to any of them. I was angry that the charities were sharing their list, sellling the list too. That is until this morning when I felt guilty about the whole thing and my suspicions.

I selected my old list and gave to them. But first I went to: http://www.CharityNavigator.org to see how my charities were rated. Hmmmnn!

Many charities are trying to get you to list them in your estate, trust, or will. They are out to get your dough. They know you can't take it with you.

I'm leaving my stuff to my kids because I don't want them to cry when I die. Oh, they will cry anyway. I don't have that much.

Rich folks like Bill Gates and Chink Shi Do like to provide for charities in a big way. They are all heart! (Okay, there is no Chink Shi Do.)

I've got a suggestion for charities:

Stop giving address labels, stationary, tiny crosses, nickels and pennies, etc.

Take the money you save from not buying that junk and buy a red Jaguar, begging for a discount from the dealer.

Okay, too big? Buy a Toyota Corolla.

Have a random computer drawing of donors and award the car.

Do that as often as you can.

I need a new car!

The End

by John T. Jones, Ph.D.

copyrightJohn T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005