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Index Page › Self Management › Personal Goal Setting
 

Goal Setting and Goal Getting: Excuse, Accuse, Refuse

 
Author: Jeff Herring

Excuse

Because of our well developed ability to rationalize (pronounced rational - lies), we can find an excuse for anything. Excuses usually sound something like this:

Well, I really wanted to, but I couldnt because (fill in the blank with a great sounding excuse)

You know, I tried to do it, but (fill in the blank again)

I did mean to do that, but (you know what to do here)

Allow me to take just a moment to say: BULL! Barring nuclear war, economic collapse, or a threat to your life, there is always a way to meet your goals, when you are committed. Even then, there is probably a way to get it done anyway.

Simply put, when it comes to achieving the goals you have set, there are no excuses.

Accuse

A close cousin to making excuses, another easy way to rational-lies (theres that word again) our falling is to accuse someone else. The thinking goes something like this: if I can find a way to place the blame on someone or something else, then I am off the hook.

Accusations often sound something like this:

The other guy didnt do his part
My parents didnt give me enough
My parents gave me too much
My father was a (fill in the blank)
My mother was a (fill it in)
I never get any breaks
I dont know the right people
Yada-yada-yada-yada

Again, allow me to pause a moment to say: BULL! Lets say all of the above factors are true, even true for just one person. Then heres my question: What does a person who got let down by a colleague, whose parents did too much/not enough, whose father was a this and whose mother was a that, and never gets any breaks nor knows the right people, (whew!) then do with the rest of their life?!?

The answer lies, in part, on dropping the crutch like tendency to excuse and accuse, and develop the power to.......

Refuse

When we refuse to accept anything less than our goal, what were once large obstacles become mere challenges on which to sharpen our skills. Consider this quote from Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich:

Every person who wins in any undertaking must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining the state of mind known as a burning desire to win -essential to success.

Then theres an old story of a tribe in the southwest Pacific that can offer us some insight here. These folks would do a very interesting and empowering thing when they decided to sail to another island and take it over. Upon landing on the shore of the desired island, they would burn their boats. They was no retreat, and thus the commitment to meeting their goal was total and complete.

When we approach our goals with this kind of commitment and intensity, two very interesting things occur:

We build a momentum that is tough to beat We develop a feeling of certainty that we will achieve our goals, no matter what.

Author Bio:

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com

You can search for this article using: goal setting, personal goal setting, goal setting theory, motivation & goal setting
 
 
 

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