We are all human, so we all make mistakes; we all do or say things we regret afterwards.

And we are so much better at forgiving others than forgiving ourselves, aren't we? And actually for some, maybe you, forgiving yourself might be an extremely difficult task.

And if you do manage to forgive yourself for your shortcomings or what you have done, do you actually forget it, or do you let it somehow haunt your happiness and success?

There are actually three categories of people: the people who deny their behaviours and do not take responsibility for them, the people who beat themselves up, and the people who learn from their mistakes. Where do you belong? To the second one? We are so good at beating ourselves up that it almost seems we have taken a degree in it! But it is about time to change it, isn't it?

If you beat yourself up, it does not help your self-esteem, as you keep dragging yourself down and you lower your confidence and you become more insecure.

But also, if you beat yourself up you can't learn from your mistakes, as learning means moving forward, expanding and growing, and if you beat yourself up, you simply stay there. And if you are negative about yourself, the result is that you make yourself feel bad and become anxious and depressed.

Actually the worst thing you can do to yourself is keep beating yourself up, because you are the most important thing you have got, and if you keep hurting yourself, you keep betraying yourself.

And if you are negative about yourself, you are not going to be happy, because the relationship with yourself is the most essential for your happiness.

If, on the other hand, you deny your behaviours and do not take responsibility for them, you simply do not grow and don't develop harmonious relationships with your fellow human beings, if you blame them for your life or the consequences of your behaviours, or you do not say sorry for any wrongdoings you have done towards them.

What helps is simply recognizing your shortcomings, taking responsibility, apologising if necessary, learning from them and moving on; and this means learn from it and let go.

And the more you do this, the more you behave according to your own values, code of conduct and standards.

And if you do this, you increase you self-confidence, you are surer of yourself, you feel more comfortable in yourself and you start becoming proud of who you are. Not bad, is it?

So, when are you going to start forgiving yourself?

Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006- All rights reserved.