I'm feeling very anxious about my tax refund. The main reason for this is the fact that Turbotax (through whom I e-filed) said my refund would be in the bank by 2/10, but alas, it is not. And as far as my calculations are concerned - it's 2/14.

I'm sure it's not a big deal; the IRS has never been known to be quick to part with MY money. The problem is that I have a selectively obsessive personality, meaning I'm not obsessive about everything, but I pick certain things to fixate on and talk myself into a downward spiral about.

So on 2/10, I checked the bank account and noticed that the money was not there yet. Immediately I assumed that I was being audited. There is no real reason to assume this, yet I did. In the span of about 12 hours (after continually checking the bank account), I had my husband and I sitting in a jail cell after being convicted for tax fraud. The baby was being taken care of by neurotic strangers because neither of our families could get here soon enough. She was being fed skittles and diet coke while my husband and I fought over who would get the one square of toilet paper left in the cell.

I managed to get a reality check and got through Saturday (2/11), but Sunday was rough. By the end of the day on 2/12, we had gotten released from prison but had to promise the IRS that we would pay half our monthly paycheck which seriously cut into what was left of our budget. There was barely enough money to live in one of those shelters with the bunk beds and ratty blankets. On the upside, it was around Christmas-time so a church adopted us and we got free snow boots.

I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night and eagerly checked the bank account early Monday morning (2/13). My bowels dropped below my knees when I saw that the money was still not there. I immediately went onto the Turbotax forum and saw that others who had filed on 2/1 were not paid yet either. This gave me some relief for about 2 hours until I started to calculate bills that were due and began to feel the desperate feeling of a desperate person.

By Monday afternoon, we were back in the shelter where my husband was getting paid $3.00/hour to make shims to put under the legs of the bunk beds in order to keep them level since people were always falling out in the night. I was always trying to make light of the situation by making jokes about how "at least we're getting quality time now!"

So here we are. It's Tuesday morning (2/14) and the money is still not there. I've become better informed though, and found out that the IRS takes the liberty to only direct deposit on Fridays. I am going to push this out of my mind until Friday and then go ballistic if it's not there yet. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. Not thinking about it at all....*sticking fingers in ears*...lalalala....

(And just to clarify, I did not cheat on my taxes...I am simply neurotic and have an over-active imagination.)