One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. Upon return from their trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip.

It was great, Dad, the son replied. Did you see how poor people can be? the father asked. Oh, yeah, said the son. So what did you learn from the trip? continued the father.

The son answered, I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to leave on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them. The boys father was speechless. Then the son added this last remark; It showed me how poor we are. - Unknown source.

This story illustrates that the way we look at the world impacts how we react and interact with it. This is theme has been popping up a lot in coaching sessions this week. When that happens, I see it as a sign that many others might be struggling with the same issue at the same time.

If you dont like the way something looks, change the way you look at it.

Imagine that two people are looking out the window on a sunny day. One might tell you what a wonderful day it is and the other might tell you the sun is too bright, the birds are chirping too loudly and its too hot. Both are looking at exactly the same thing yet, based upon framework in their mind, they see it very differently.

The way we look at the world, situations, ideas, people can significantly impact our response or reaction to it. It may propel us into action or possibly paralyze us with overwhelm. It may draw us towards a person or repel us away from them.

Just the other day one my clients received some feedback that his/her employees wanted more input on decisions. She thought she was already providing them plenty of opportunities and didnt know what additional opportunities she could provide. I suggested that maybe it wasnt more that they wanted but possibly different opportunities. This change in perspective opened up a whole new pattern of thinking and many new ideas to possibly address their concerns.

So, is it easy to just change the way you look at the world? For most, its probably easier said than done. Here are a few ways that I use with my clients and practice myself.

1. Change the language you use. When my client substituted the word "different" for the word "additional", she was able to see possibilities she couldn't see before. The language you use usually supports your current view of things. So changing your language can open up your viewpoint to new possibilities.

Instead of calling the people that work for you "employees", call them "team members". Instead of using the words "problems" or "issues", try the word "challenges". Instead of "customers" or "vendors", try "partners", and instead of "manager", try "coach". Youll be surprised how your words will help change your behavior and perspective.

2. Brainstorm alternatives. Ask yourself, Whats another way to view this situation? This sounds simplistic, but it actually works.

3. Physically move to a different place. Ask yourself, What does the situation look like from here? Picture the situation being in the middle of an imaginary circle in your office. Stand on the outer edge of the circle and state aloud what the situation looks like from there. Then, move 90 degrees and state what the situation looks like from there and on around the circle. The physical movement can significantly help this process.

As I write this article its cloudy and raining. I have the choice to view the day as:

a) Gloomy, wet, humid, etc., OR as
b) An opportunity to get things done inside without the temptation of a gorgeous spring day, OR as
c) An opportunity for my newly planted flowers to grow, OR as
d) As a blessing that we are not subject to the droughts of many other parts of the country.

I get to choose which perspective or framework serves me best in the situation. In this case, b, c, d, work best for me and are most conducive to my effectiveness.